ALL ABOUT ME Series – “ME AND MY FEELINGS; WHAT EMOTIONS ARE AND HOW WE CAN MANAGE THEM : by Robert Guarino

Namaste Welcome to SAM-VAD (Together In Conversation) Sunil Rao here.

As we begin today ‘let us remember this about ‘Attention’. Our life experience would ultimately amount to whatever we had paid attention to. Attention: is important and most of the times we are so indifferent to it. It is as fundamental as food; and we go blundering about, seeking ways to assuage the craving, instead of learning how to provide ourselves with what we need, sensibly and calmly. We feed the hunger blindly. Once the mechanism is brought to our attention and we begin to study it, it is as if a veil has been stripped off ordinary life, and we become freer in our action and choices.

Today I will talk about one of the ALL ABOUT ME series, published by Hoopoe books a division of The Institute for the study of Human Knowledge. The series is part of the Human Nature Program of ISHK.

In his foreword to the series, late Dr. Robert Ornstein mentions that the changes to a teen’s brain are similar to the growth of a baby’s brain in the first eighteen months of life. A massive spurt of new brain cells called grey matter occurs, and nerve cells called neurons make new connections. Then slowly, throughout the teenage years and into the early twenties, cells that don’t make connections are trimmed back.

Scientists speculate that this second growth spurt aids us all in adapting to the world. It is that period where we learn a new skill or develop a lifelong habit easily. If you take up a new skill or keep practicing at an old one, your brain will rewire itself to support these abilities at a faster rate than at any other time in your life. No wonder the teen years are such a good time to take up playing guitar or drum, or to learn a new language. On the other hand, you want to avoid getting into some bad habits because they get wired in, too, and will be harder to change later on. Now is really a good time to learn some good habits for dealing with anger, stress and self-control.

Getting through this time in your life can sometimes feel very complicated and you struggle to make sense of the world around you. Maybe you find yourself wondering why you’re suddenly so concerned about what others think. Maybe you find yourself wanting more privacy.

New questions. New School. New styles. You are changing, you’re friends are changing. But you might be able to make more sense of these changes if you have the right information.  It is about how we see, think, and feel; how these abilities work, how they change, grow or get stuck and how reliable they are as we try to make sense of ourselves, our friends, our relatives and the world around us. There is good, solid information readily available and scientifically validated, but a lot of people seem too busy to pay attention to it.

This book explores the mystery of our feelings. What are emotions? How and why do they work the way they do? How can we manage our feelings when we need to? There are some interesting activities to participate along the way as you read.

It is available as an eBook and can be downloaded on your kindle.

Now the Excerpts:

Chapter: What are Emotions And why do we have Them?

Excerpt:

Emotions are automatic patterns of responding to certain situations. They are involuntary and seem to be outside of conscious control. Emotional reactions involve the autonomic (automatic) nervous system. Our face responds in particular ways depending upon the emotion. Our brain releases different chemicals which cause our hearts to beat more quickly or our palms to sweat. Because of these physical or physiological responses, we can’t always calm down as quickly as we like.

Role of Emotions:

They move us to Act.

Direct and Sustain emotions.

Help us Communicate.

Organize Emotions

Chapter: CLARIFYING EMOTIONS

Excerpt:

In everyday language, we often use words like “emotions”, “feelings” and “moods” to mean the same thing. But psychologists actually use these terms to express different ideas. Below are Paul Ekman’s definitions of these terms.

Emotions are relatively specific and automatic patterns of short-lived physiological and mental responses. They arouse, direct, sustain and communicate behavior and help us organize our experience.

Feelings are more complex experiences. Feelings involve emotions and thoughts about emotions. Jealousy is not an emotion, but a feeling made up of different emotions.

Moods are longer states of feelings and emotions. A mood colours experience.

Temperament is most longstanding. You might want to think of temperament like a personality trait. Your temperament makes it likely that you will have specific emotional reaction to a certain situation.

Emotional Disorders occur when one emotion dominates a person’s life making it difficult for that person to carry out basic tasks, such as eating, sleeping, working or going to sleep.

Chapter on INTERPRETING EMOTIONS

Excerpt:

Our emotional responses involve an appraisal of the situation. An appraisal is our understanding of the meaning of the event. Appraising the situation involves evaluating it. In the split seconds that we are confronted with a situation, we seek to determine whether or not something is good or bad, helpful or hurtful; whether we are being confronted by something that is strong or weak, fast or slow; and whether are we being confronted by something that is active.

Our initial appraisal will lead to a certain action (or inaction), We then receive feedback to help us determine what to do next. This leads to a reappraisal and more feedback – a continuation of the first action or a change of course.  

We remember past events as well as the accompanying emotions. When confronted with a similar event in the present we will often respond to the present event with the same emotions that we had with the past event.

Chapter on ANGER

Excerpt:

Anger is a primary emotion.

Why people become angry?

We become angry when someone interferes with what we want to do. Frustration is a type of interference with our goals which is why if often results in anger.

We become angry when someone is trying to hurt us. When others get angry with us, we usually feel “attacked” and respond by becoming angry, too.

We become angry when someone we care about has disappointed us.

We become angry when someone rejects us.

We become angry when someone suggests an action or belief that we find offensive.

When we find that we are angry, we should take the time to figure out why we have become angry because this anger signals that something needs to change. We can’t make effective change unless we know the source of our anger.